Serves: The whole base (but results may vary)
Ingredients:
• 1 Whole “Tough Guy” Chicken (preferably pre-marinated in bravado, but actually quite sensitive)
• A Handful of Flip-Flops (for when you need to change your mind at a moment’s notice)
• A Dash of Fake News (to spice things up)
• A Pinch of “Alternative Facts” (for extra flavor)
• A Sprinkle of Red Hats (for garnish and to distract from the main dish)
• A Generous Portion of Wall (optional, but recommended for added texture and divisiveness)
• A Side of Fox News (for dipping, if desired)
• A Large Serving of Surprise (because you never know what you’ll get)
Instructions:
1. Prep the Chicken:
• Remove backbone and any signs of backbone (metaphorically speaking).
• Marinate overnight in promises to “stand firm,” but let it soak in self-doubt for best results.
2. Cook the Chicken:
• Heat a large skillet with hot air and bluster until smoking.
• Add chicken, but as soon as it sizzles, flip it over to the other side—repeatedly.
• When chicken starts to get tough questions, remove immediately and place under a heat lamp labeled “Executive Time.”
3. Build the Wall:
• Arrange crispy taco shells in a line, but leave plenty of gaps so the filling can slip through.
• If you want authentic Trump Taco Surprise, promise a “beautiful wall” but only deliver half.
4. Assemble the Tacos:
• Shred the chicken and toss with flip-flops (for that signature indecisive crunch).
• Sprinkle generously with fake news and alternative facts.
• Garnish with red hats and a side of Fox News for extra pizzazz.
5. Serve with Surprise:
• Present with a flourish, but don’t be surprised if the chicken disappears or changes its mind just before serving.
Serving Suggestion:
Best enjoyed with a tall glass of “covfefe” and a side of Twitter rants. Perfect for rallies, but may leave a bitter aftertaste.
Note:
This dish is known for its unpredictability—sometimes it’s “the best taco ever,” sometimes it’s “just a big, beautiful mess.” Always check the reviews before serving to your base. If the chicken “chickens out,” simply declare victory and move on to the next course.
