GOTV 2026
#gotv Get your ass off the bench and get in the game. - Admin ExSquid
19 Sep 2026
6 min read
Recent Dispatches
Commentary
Tate, the Alpha, Would Like to Speak to a Manager
#bluepill Fix the conditions. Keep the scrutiny. Give young men a better standard: develop your mind, train your body, keep your word, and take responsibility. Earn respect through what you do.
18 Sep 2026
8 min read
Satire
The Cannidy Rogaine Protocol for Administrative Reduction of Measles Mortality
#hhs “Where conventional epidemiology asks what caused the death, the Cannidy-Rogaine protocol asks whether the death can be made less administratively inconvenient.”
17 Sep 2026
10 min read
Satire
Decentralized Gastrointestinal Governance
#hhs Cannidy recommends that future foodborne outbreaks be managed by withholding definitive guidance until restaurants, customers, social media users, and the parasite itself reach a working consensus.
14 Sep 2026
11 min read
Commentary
Trump’s $5,000 Midterm ‘Freedom Check’: Socialism Is Bad Until It Comes With a Ballot
A $5,000 midterm “freedom check” may briefly help Americans drowning in rent, debt, groceries, and medical bills—while the same politicians call healthcare socialism. Apparently government money is tyranny only when it lasts longer than Election Day.
12 Sep 2026
4 min read
Satire
Vaccinations Identified as Common Factor Before Death
#hhs Vaccination → Something Happened → Therefore Vaccination Requires Further Investigation
12 Sep 2026
9 min read
Commentary
Now This Is What An Alpha Male Looks Like
#bluepill Want to see what an actual alpha male looks like? Here you go.
10 Sep 2026
7 min read
Original Music
The Song Belongs To Someone Else (Bella Ciao)
#resist Are you as pissed off as we are? You're not alone.
09 Sep 2026
1 min read
Parody
Two Towers, Two Trumps: The Man Who Can't Remember Where He Was on 9/11 Is Now Running the Country
#trump There are two Trumps who talked about 9/11. One bragged about his building's height hours after the towers fell. The other, 25 years later, claims firefighters heroically carried him from Ground Zero. Same guy. Only one currently has the nuclear codes.
09 Sep 2026
4 min read
Daily News
Pentagon Launches “Operation High T,” Declares Emotional Availability a National-Security Risk
Pete Hegseth’s testosterone-testing push has reportedly inspired a Pentagon readiness overhaul: fewer spreadsheets, more truck-saluting, and a mandatory ability to call coffee “jet fuel.” Critics fear the military may soon confuse medical screening with a podcast ad read.
05 Sep 2026
2 min read
Satire
A Scientific Breakthrough: Determining Outcomes Prior to Gathering Evidence
#hhs The principal advantage of outcome-first epidemiology is that the hypothesis cannot fail; only the evidence can.
04 Sep 2026
8 min read
Commentary
Son, Wash Your Ass.
#bluepill If people can smell you before they can see you, you have not unlocked an evolutionary advantage.
03 Sep 2026
7 min read