The Cannidy Rogaine Protocol for Administrative Reduction of Measles Mortality | Decentralized Gastrointestinal Governance | Trump’s $5,000 Midterm ‘Freedom Check’: Socialism Is Bad Until It Comes With a Ballot | Vaccinations Identified as Common Factor Before Death | Now This Is What An Alpha Male Looks Like | The Song Belongs To Someone Else (Bella Ciao) | Two Towers, Two Trumps: The Man Who Can't Remember Where He Was on 9/11 Is Now Running the Country | Pentagon Launches “Operation High T,” Declares Emotional Availability a National-Security Risk | A Scientific Breakthrough: Determining Outcomes Prior to Gathering Evidence | Son, Wash Your Ass. | "Echoes of Promises" - Whiskey Leaks Music | Because side effects become wellness when they come from supplements | The Cannidy Rogaine Protocol for Administrative Reduction of Measles Mortality | Decentralized Gastrointestinal Governance | Trump’s $5,000 Midterm ‘Freedom Check’: Socialism Is Bad Until It Comes With a Ballot | Vaccinations Identified as Common Factor Before Death | Now This Is What An Alpha Male Looks Like | The Song Belongs To Someone Else (Bella Ciao) | Two Towers, Two Trumps: The Man Who Can't Remember Where He Was on 9/11 Is Now Running the Country | Pentagon Launches “Operation High T,” Declares Emotional Availability a National-Security Risk | A Scientific Breakthrough: Determining Outcomes Prior to Gathering Evidence | Son, Wash Your Ass. | "Echoes of Promises" - Whiskey Leaks Music | Because side effects become wellness when they come from supplements |

Satire

Introducing Swamp Ass by Trump

#trump For those about to grift, we salute you. - Admin ExSquid

Charles U. Farley — 23 Jun 2026 — 6 min read

A Whiskey Leaks Luxury Product Announcement

Parfum Swamp
Ass New from Trump

Swamp Ass New from Trump

A luxury fragrance inspired by Washington’s most refreshing new shade of green. Distilled from algae, executive runoff, and a promise to drain something eventually.

At last, a presidential fragrance with the courage to leave a lasting impression. Swamp Ass captures the bold, unmistakable confidence of a leader who never lets a little atmosphere get between him and a grand entrance.

Rich, commanding, and impossible to ignore, it brings a decisive new presence to boardrooms, golf carts, cable-news green rooms, and any setting where ordinary restraint simply will not do.

Top Notes Chlorophyll

Heart Notes Humid bravado

Base Notes Executive runoff

“Now available in Monument Green.”