November 17, 2025
To Whom It May Concern (and to those it doesn’t but will gossip anyway):
It has come to our attention that certain rumor mills—likely powered by caffeine, loneliness, and creative writing diplomas—have suggested that the late, great Bubba Smith maintained some manner of “special connection” with President Donald J. Trump.
Let the record show: Mr. Smith’s physical proximity to Mr. Trump never exceeded that of two linebackers in a crowded elevator—tense, awkward, and mercifully brief. Bubba was known for tackling quarterbacks, not engaging in whatever “tackling drills” Mr. Trump’s fan fiction implies.
Bubba respected all walks of life, but he did not, repeat did not, attend any candlelit power lunches, sensual handshake exchanges, or gold‑leaf spa retreats with the man. Any whisperings of “locker‑room bridge‑building” between these two titans are entirely the product of overactive imaginations and perhaps too many late nights watching cable news with the sound off.
While Bubba did exude charisma potent enough to turn an entire Rotary Club weak in the knees, he devoted that magnetism to his acting craft—not to the political art of mutual admiration and bronzer swapping.
In conclusion, the Estate of Bubba Smith categorically denies any romantic, athletic, or otherwise lubricated association with Donald Trump. Please redirect further inquiries to your nearest tabloid recycling bin.
Warm regards,
The Estate of Bubba Smith
Administrator, Keeper of Dignity, and Occasional Myth‑Debunker
