Verse 1
Sittin’ in my boxers in a nest of pizza crust,
Used to post on forums, now my memes collectin’ dust.
Mom yells down the stairs, “When you gonna get a job?”
But I’m too busy hunting secret codes from some Telegram slob.
Chorus
Ohh, I got them internet hero blues,
From red-pill messiah to a guy the world outgrew.
I cracked imaginary codes, but now I crack cheap beers,
Just a ghost in a Q thread, drowning in my tears.
Verse 2
Once I was a patriot, a keyboard renegade,
Dreamed of deep state takedowns (never even got laid).
My secret plan was fire, my DMs were hot—
Too bad my “intel source” turned out to be a Russian cyber-bot.
Chorus
Yeah, them digital crusader blues,
From “Storm is coming!” to “Mom, more Mountain Dew!”
Used to think I mattered, now I’m scrolling for a thrill,
Even Pepe the Frog won’t friend me, man, that’s a bitter pill.
Verse 3 (Raunchier, Lampooning)
Scrolled so much porn ‘neath the freedom flag’s light,
MAGA hat on backward, hand busy all night.
Posted “woke” is evil but my right hand ain’t so pure,
Only thing I’m storming now’s my sock drawer, that’s for sure.
Chorus
I got them hopeless QAnon blues,
From hero to zero, just yesterday’s news.
My glory days faded, relevance is gone—
Guess conspiracies can’t keep the lights turned on.
Outro
Maybe someday I’ll go outside and try a little sun,
But I’ll probably just reload 8chan—because “the plan’s not done.”
