The Daily Schtick: Epstein Bombshells Bury Elites – DOJ drops 3M+ pages of files, exposing Trump rape claims, Musk's island party begs, Lutnick visits, Clinton dodges. Dollar crashes further amid tariff chaos. Scandals > shutdowns > cyber fails. Elite alibis? Vaporized.

Dollar crashes 5.2% to 3-year low amid Trump tariffs, Fed inaction, and cyber leaks. Shutdown looms over ICE fights, ChatGPT owns U.S. secrets, markets tank 1,800 pts. Trump calls it "STRONGEST EVER." America: from reserve currency to reality TV punchline.

The Daily Schtick skewers a spectacular cyber‑fail: America’s top cybersecurity chief accidentally uploads classified infrastructure secrets to public ChatGPT, turning a national security briefing into open‑mic night for hackers and leaving Congress, Trump, and the internet in meltdown.

Congress eyes shutdown over ICE reform after deadly Minneapolis raids, Trump threatens Iran again while tariffing South Korea, Obamacare enrollment crashes, and winter storms keep the chaos frosty. Same planet, new meltdown—The Daily Schtick style!