Satire
Universal Mortality Following COVID-19 Vaccination
#hhs Long-term survival following vaccination remains unconfirmed, and investigators warn that the final mortality figures may not be known for decades.
Resist fascism and authoritarian rule.
Satire
#hhs Long-term survival following vaccination remains unconfirmed, and investigators warn that the final mortality figures may not be known for decades.
Satire
#hhs A groundbreaking new study finds that childhood vaccination may be improved by making it slower, less convenient, and considerably harder to finish. Researchers call the resulting missed appointments “natural immunity opportunities.”
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#dineshdsouza Researchers Eliminate Archaeology’s Remaining Uncertainty by Removing Archaeologists”
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#hhs We evaluated 56 post-mortem subjects discovered under conditions profoundly incompatible with conventional refrigeration, sanitation, or common sense.
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#hhs After adjusting for humidity, patriotism, citrus consumption, and the number of decorative flamingos per household, armadillo proximity was associated with a 312% increase in historical authenticity (p = 0.97).
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#hhs This study examines whether repeated invocation of the Fifth Amendment can be explained by civic spinal misalignment rather than legal risk.
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#hhs A landmark study finds black lung may be America’s most efficient carbon-capture program, provided nobody asks what happened to the miners storing the coal and silica. :::
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#hhs This study has not been funding by the Trump administration, but its findings have been put to good use.
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#rfk Healthy Americans face suspicion for buying insurance without producing enough profitable illnesses.
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A Peer Review of Congressional Science J. MeHoffer, MD, PharmD (Unaccredited), reviewing the independent "findings" of Sen. Rand Powell, Chiropractor-at-Large
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GDP grew just 1.5% last quarter. Inflation held at 3.3%. Americans drained savings to a four-year low just to keep spending. Financial analysts have a name for this: demand-side enthusiasm. Whiskey Leaks has the full report.
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#satire Dr. Jack MeHoffer is proud to announce that measles are in fact patriotic.